You need to know about this experiment.
Are you resisting your marshmallows?
I’ve been reluctant to (eat this marshmallow) post this video, awaiting a rainy and relaxed Sunday afternoon so I could add a useful commentary but I’ve realized it speaks for itself so I should ship it. :-)
But wait! This marshmallow cannot be swallowed yet because there’s something here to be said. There are patterns to be found.
The marshmallow experiment has been devised by Walter Mischel in late 1960s and was later discussed by Daniel Goleman in his seminal work on Emotional Intelligence.
Resisting marshmallows as a kid can be directly translated to deferred gratification as a grown-up. People who resisted marshmallows as kids showed a significant personal trait of being capable of impulse control.
Psychoanalysis has a wonderful explanation of poor impulse control or instant gratification, IMHO.
It’s definitely worth repeating again and again: “The ego’s job is to satisfy the needs of the id while respecting other people’s needs. […] a person who is unable to delay gratification may possess an unbalanced id that the ego and superego are unable to control.”
If you’re unaware of either ego states id, ego, and superego (devised by Sigmund Freud) or transactional analysis (considered as neo-Freudian theory of personality, devised by Eric Berne) which uses less abstract terms Child-Adult-Parent, here’s a short explanation:
- id (represented as Child in transactional analysis, something we all have forming until 3rd year of life): how we felt when we were children and we still do sometimes. It is also considered a source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.
- ego (Adult in TA): is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that cloud its operation. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality. It’s the rational and conscious part of each of us. You want to be in this ego state whenever you’re making decisions.
- superego (Parent in TA): is how people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent’s actions. In effect, it’s internalization of parental authority. When you’re shouting at someone (which is a poor way to pass your thinking to other people), you’re actually repeating what you thought was working and your learned from some paternal figure earlier in your life.
To conclude: if you still have a ravaging child in your whose desires you cannot control and neither did your parents, teachers, relatives - you’re in trouble. Without resisting the marshmallow you’re not able to hold on to your impulsive wishes, plan and control the course of your life along those plans - either personal or professional.
Another no-brainer tip for pregnant women (or those who will be): consuming alcohol during pregnancy leads to fetal alcohol syndrome. If you think your future child won’t be born mentally retarded if you drink less, it will surely be less likely to be delay gratification. As such, your future child will end up being less content and successful in life.
Cheers! :-)
