Shonzilla, a pattern-seeking animal

Life is a game of patterns and chance, and those who play well will win.


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Thu Oct 14

Defining minus

+18ºC - They take the second blanket on Hawaii.

+10ºC - Heating is turned off in Helsinki buildings.

+2ºC - Italian cars cannot start.

0ºC - Distilled water gets frozen.

-1ºC - Breath can be seen. Russians eat ice cream and drink beer, cold of course.

-4ºC - Your dog jumps into your bed.

-10ºC - French cars cannot start.

-12ºC - Politicians start talking about homeless people.

-15ºC - America cars cannot start.

-20ºC - Breath can be heard.

-24ºC - Japanese cars cannot start.

-28º - Your dog jumps in your pijamas.

-29ºC - German cars cannot start.

-30ºC - Not a single normal car car start.

-36ºC - Russian cars cannot start.

-39ºC - Russians button up their shirts.

-50ºC - Your car jumps into your be.

-60ºC - The inhabitants of Helsinki are freezing now. In Moscow their buttoning up their coats.

-70ºC - They’re getting frozen in hell. A cross-country is organized in Kuznetsk.

-72ºC - The attorneys are putting their hands in their own pockets.

-120ºC - Alcohol freezes making Russians pissed off.

-273.15ºC - The absolute zero. Elementary particles stop moving. The Russian is nostalgically licking the frozen vodka.